Dating a Friend: Basics of Dating a Friend

If you got interested in this blog, and have a real good story to tell about "being in love with a close friend", leave me a comment!!!


Every great relationship is based on a great friendship. It's no wonder that many relationships start out between two people who are good friends.

It probably seems amazing to you that you have started to get strong feelings for someone who was once a friend. But really, this is the normal and best way for a relationship to happen. All great relationships are founded on great friendships. It is that friendship that carries you through the years and makes you happy together. So don't think of this as a "strange" or "unusual" situation that is scary. It's a quite normal situation that millions of people have gone through successfully.

Q. Can guys and girls be “just friends”?

What's your opinion???, can guys and girls be friends? In fact I would be weary of people who don’t have any meaningful plutonic friendships with people of the opposite sex.


According to many researches, Yep, they sure can! Anybody who tells you otherwise is suffering from one of the following three social delusions; 1) that everybody of the opposite sex is so physically attractive that it renders plutonic relationships truly impossible, 2) that everybody of the opposite sex wants them bad (a.k.a. a delusion of grandeur), and 3) that the only thing that can successfully cross the gender divide is sexual in nature. First and foremost, people are drawn to each other for a variety of reasons and they aren’t always physical. Some people will come to be very close friends, some will be acquaintances, some may even evolve in to enemies, and yes, some will even become love affairs, but no one thing will ever define which category any given person will fall in to for you. It isn’t defined by race, religion, social standing, looks, intelligence, athletic abilities, the clothes they wear, the things they own or the way they talk, and it isn’t defined by gender. People grow close for complex reasons and that closeness is made stronger by things like having similar values, common goals and shared experiences in life. You can have these things with anybody regardless of gender and the fact that they are a person of the opposite sex does not mean that a relationship has to be romantic or even physical in nature. A well-rounded secure person is able to have different relationships with different people and get different things out of the relationship without ever deconstructing that relationship down to a gender based stereotype. In other words not everything in life is about sexual attraction and to suggest that a friendship between a guy and a girl will always be plagued by sexual tensions is naïve, sexist and just plain ridiculous!

DATING AND SEX AMONG AFRICAN AMERICAN ADOLESCENTS

This article sought to better understand the role of friends in the dating and sexual relationships of inner-city African American adolescents--a phenomenon that has not received significant empirical attention and that has many cultural nuances and influences.


Although developmental theory and research suggest that friends play a significant role in determining the quality of heterosexual dating and sexual relationships, this phenomenon has not been systematically explored among African American adolescents. African American adolescents, particularly those in low-income urban environments, have been disproportionately impacted by negative sexual health outcomes such as sexually transmitted infections and HIV (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2002a, 2002b) and unintended pregnancies (Anachebe & Sutton, 2003). Thus, it is important to explore contextual and social influences on the sexual behavior of these youth in order to design effective prevention programs. Culture specific examinations of dating and sex are essential to understanding the sexual lives of African American adolescents, since these behaviors are shaped to a large degree by sociocultural factors that vary across ethnic groups (Anderson, 1999: Leaper, 2000). In addition, some researchers have noted the relatively greater importance and influence of neighborhood friendship groups in the lives of African American youth (Anderson, 1992, 1999: Way, 1998). This may be partially due to the experience of being an ethnic minority adolescent in a racist society and the increased social support and acknowledgement that can be gained from spending time with those who can relate to experiences of oppression (Prilleltensky, 2003: Watts, Griffith, & Abdul-Adil, 1999).

a significant role in determining the quality of heterosexual dating experiences

Dating during adolescence often serves as an avenue for participation in sexual activity. Adolescents who date on a more consistent basis have access to potential sexual partners, thereby increasing the likelihood that they will have sex.

Friendships are thought to play a significant role in determining the quality of heterosexual dating experiences because adolescents spend a significant amount of time with their peers and learn about opposite-gender social relationships by observing and imitating each other (Furman, Brown, & Feiring, 1999; Leaper & Anderson, 1997). Additionally, friendship networks create a context in which romantic relationships can develop; adolescents' involvement in these networks can influence the timing, emergence, and nature of their romantic relationships. The existence of a supportive and cohesive friendship network has been associated with increased frequency of dating, as close friends may serve a number of roles including providing access to potential dating partners through peer group activities, acquiring background information about potential partners, assisting in the initiation of conversations with prospective partners, and "setting up" the actual dating circumstances (Connolly, Furman, & Konarski, 2000; Davies & Windle, 2000; Paul & White, 1990). In addition, close friends also provide initial models for romantic relationship expectations, as well as information and advice regarding the initiation and maintenance of dating relationships.

Dating a Friend?

The Role of close friends in African American adolescents' dating and sexual behavior

Dealing with feelings is very complicated. During adolescence, it is important to be aware of the role of close friends in the dating and sexual behavior.

During early and middle adolescence, youth become increasingly interested in forming dyadic romantic relationships, and by the age of 14 or 15 most adolescents have had some experience with dating (Connolly & Johnson, 1996; Furman, 1993; Sharabany, Gershoni, & Hofman, 1981). The formation of romantic relationships assists with healthy social development and provides a range of supportive functions that impact general adjustment and coping throughout adolescence (Lempers & Clark-Lempers, 1993; Shulman & Kipnis, 2001; Zimmer-Gembeck, Siebenbruner, & Collins, 2001). Romantic and dating relationships are also often a prelude to sexual activity during adolescence (Miller & Moore, 1990). Since these phenomena occur in a social context that is heavily influenced by peers, it is important to examine the role of close friends in the dating and sexual behavior of adolescents. These same-gender social networks may provide an avenue for delivering and diffusing prevention messages about safer sex to adolescents. This paper addresses dating and sex among inner-city African American adolescents and explores the role of friendships in these early sexual experiences.